2. Realize that all your thoughts and feelings and those of your partner are legitimate and need to be treated with respect no matter how silly they seem to you - i.e. no-one is ‘too sensitive”.

3. Have a Plan for Pleasure - and build it into your day/week month/year and that includes creating time for sex and intimacy.

4. Never make an agreement that you do not intend to keep.

5. Learn the skills of Negotiation:

• realize that people who always need to be ‘right’, often end up lonely

• do Active Listening when required

• remove sarcasm and put downs of any description from your vocabulary

• learn to hear constructive criticism without reacting defensively

6. Know what your partner wants, hopes and dreams - Create a “Love Map”

7. Focus on the positives about your partner and express them regularly.

8. Know yourself - be responsible and aware of your own needs and feelings and be willing and able to express them.

9. Know what is “important” for you and your partner - ensure you support those values with regular actions.